How do I approach women without acting like a jerk?
Q. I’m sort of shy. I see girls hanging out with guys that are complete jerks. When I act like that girls don’t respond the same. Where’s the line between being attractive and being offensive when it comes to hitting on women?
A. A shy guy needs more time to present himself, so I’d suggest that you make casual conversation with a woman for the purpose of making friends with her first rather than “hitting on” her for a date right away. If your intention is dating, then pay attention to her signals. A woman who is interested in more than friendship will make her interest obvious. You could also hint around by saying something like, “Maybe we could meet for coffee sometime.” If she’s interested, not only will she agree to that, she’ll produce her digits or an email address without you having to ask for future correspondence. If she’s not interested, she may say “That sounds great,” just to be nice, but she won’t offer any contact information. If you ask for it, she may produce it, but be prepared for less than the response you’re hoping for.
BOTTOM LINE:
- Be yourself! You’re not a jerk. Good for you!
- Give yourself a chance to get to know a woman through friendly conversation.
- Pay attention to the “interested” or “not” signals she’s sending.
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